


Stay. | Amaguji

by BlackFlower819



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Dangan Ronpa 3: The End of 希望ヶ峰学園 | The End of Kibougamine Gakuen | End of Hope's Peak High School
Genre: Amaguji - Freeform, Angst, How Do I Tag, I Tried, M/M, help me, this is gonna be sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-06
Updated: 2021-01-26
Packaged: 2021-03-06 07:47:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,864
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25719820
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlackFlower819/pseuds/BlackFlower819
Summary: Everything felt so.. real. So why.. why wasn't it?~~~~~Franchise/Fandom: Danganronpa (v3)Ship:  Amaguji/Amaguuji (Rantaro Amami x Korekiyo Shinguji)~~~~~Warnings, Triggers, Notes:- Mention of death- Bad mental state (?)- Korekiyo's sister doesn't exist in this fanfic.
Relationships: Amami Rantaro/Shinguji Korekiyo
Comments: 28
Kudos: 76





	1. Rainy Night Stories

At the entrance of Hope's Peak Academy there was the usual lot of noise. The conversations between classmates, footsteps running to the entry, and the thumping of Rantaro's heartbeat. The first day back always gave Rantaro an uneasy feeling. Maybe it was the overwhelming presence of 1000 or more people? Since it was just him and 1 or 2 other people, there really was no need to get accustomed to large crowds. 

"..Rantaro? Are you feeling unwell?" 

The familiar voice brought Rantaro back to reality. The voice of his most trusted friend, Korekiyo Shinguji, or Kiyo, as he would preferred to be called. Korekiyo was the Ultimate Anthropologist, studying the behaviour of human life. 

Despite not knowing many trends, he sure knew how to dress up. Everyday was a new outfit. Rantaro found it amusing. His sisters would be amazed. Today he was wearing a jacket on top of a V-neck sweater, which was on top of a collared, white button up. His bottoms were denim jeans. Quite casual but Korekiyo still looked stunning.

Rantaro shook his head, flashed a winning smile and replied cooly,

"Yeah, yeah, I am fine, thanks for worrying though. Just first day jitters."

He was not fine. 

↠↠↠❀❀❀↞↞↞

Only half the school day went by and Rantaro was currently thanking whatever deity out there for lunch period. Rantaro entered the cafeteria and found Korekiyo sitting at a table, an outlier from the rest. He didn't mind sitting away from the rest, it was calmer here. Rantaro then made his way to sit with the male with the royal blue hair. Sliding onto the bench, surprisingly, Kiyo had ignited the conversation. 

"Good afternoon, Rantaro, how are you feeling?"

"Afternoon, Kiyo! I'm good, but do you need to ask that question every time?"

"Ah, I am sorry. I do apologize for the repetitiveness."

The mint haired boy shook his head and began eating his lunch. The taller watched him eat hungrily.

"Rantaro. You are forgetting something."

Rantaro looked up from his food to meet his friend's narrow, golden eyes. The eyes that brought him comfort from nights of nightmares and paranoia. Korekiyo held out some jellybeans.

"We are supposed to share everyday, remember?"

Ah, right. Jellybeans made Rantaro feel better. He didn't know why but Kiyo didn't seem to mind taking them with him. 

"Ah, right!" Rantaro took 2 from his palm. "Thanks, I nearly forgot.."

Rantaro let out a nervous laugh, then popped them into his mouth. The jellybeans were not very flavourful, but it was a nice treat.

"You are welcome."

↠↠↠❀❀❀↞↞↞

"Rantaro. Take my jacket. I don't want you getting sick again. You are prone to sickness these days."

The first day back had ended and it was raining of all things. Much to Kiyo's disliking, Rantaro frequently got sick. It was quite troublesome and it led, much to Korekiyo's dismay, to frequent visits to the pharmacy and Rantaro's house.

"But Kiyo-"

"No arguing. As much as I love coming over, it is quite a hassle. No offence"

Before the shorter male could argue a second time, the taller was already holding out his jacket for him. He had no choice but to oblige. Korekiyo never complained about being cold, or hot for that matter. To think of it, Korekiyo never complained. Unless it was about Rantaro's health. Rantaro found it strange. A human who was... completely content? 

↠↠↠❀❀❀↞↞↞

The two walked in the rain, the repetitive drip drip drip became a steady melody. Korekiyo's hair looked shinier in the rain. It was beautiful. He was beautiful. And no, he would not like to elaborate. 

The scenery home was beautiful, no matter how much they had seen it. Beautiful wisteria trees loomed over the footpath, showcasing many shades of purple. They walked along the path in a comfortable silence that enveloped them into their own bubble. The world, to the boys, was quiet, except for the rain. So peaceful, so calming. So...

"Lost in thought, Rantaro?"

The taller suddenly said, without warning.

"No... kinda.. yes." 

Korekiyo let out a quiet laugh. You could never tell underneath his mask. He never spoke in class either. It was like he was invisible, like nobody else could see him but Rantaro. Korekiyo.. was quite the mysterious individual. He studied others and kept journals on human behaviour and nature, despite seemingly wanting to stay away from people who weren't Rantaro. 

↠↠↠❀❀❀↞↞↞

After what seemed like a long walk, they arrived at the familiar confines of Rantaro's home. Upon entering, Rantaro quickly returned Kiyo's jacket with a smile and a casual 'thank you'. As per usual, Rantaro's dad was out doing things better than being there for his.. remaining family. Rantaro had figured that it'd be better without his father figure. Whatever. It didn't matter, he had Korekiyo. 

After the long walk to Rantaro's room, Rantaro flopped onto his bed, sighing. Korekiyo was inspecting, once again, the pictures in Rantaro's room. Most of them faded from in-caution, but they all showed Rantaro with his several younger sisters, smiling and being happy. Korekiyo held a photo in his hand, admiring it. 

"Rantaro, tell me a story."

Stories that Rantaro told and retold again and again. Stories about his siblings that he used to know. From daring adventures, trips around the world to bedtime stories and games of princesses and knight. Korekiyo loved to hear about all of them. The enthusiastic tone to Rantaro's voice, the wonderful spark in his eyes. Oh, it was truly beautiful when humans spoke about things that excited them. It was.. unique. Like no other.

Rantaro smiled his enlightening smile and nodded. 

"I'm gonna tell you my favourite! You've heard it before but it's simply a great tell."

"Please, do not let me stop you."

↠↠↠❀❀❀↞↞↞

Rantaro Amami was an amazing storyteller. His stories were an ocean of thought and feeling. Maybe he was simply spilling out what he had been feeling. After a few enchanting stories, they had decided to call it a day and return to the sweet state of rest.

"Korekiyo, I can just move over, there's really no need for you to sleep on the chair again I-"

"Do not fuss. I am perfectly fine here."

"But-"

"I'm fine."

Rantaro was forced to look into Korekiyo's yellow eyes, so genuine and healing, as if he had forgotten all his troubles by looking into the other's eyes. The shorter man sighed in defeat. Korekiyo was, or trying to, care for Rantaro. It was almost.. bittersweet? 

↠↠↠❀❀❀↞↞↞

Rantaro lie in bed as Korekiyo held his hand from the bedside. Rantaro looked so peaceful and quiet. Korekiyo would give everything for Rantaro, for him to be happy, to live a life not full of angst and bitter memories. But for now, it was the best thing for Korekiyo to do. Stay with Rantaro. Just until he figures everything out.


	2. The memories that we hold along the sands of fate

Rantaro P.O.V

My voice breaks from all the desperate screaming and crying. But there were truly no more tears left to cry. I shout and I keep on shouting their names but all I get is the silent scream of nothing. I've been searching for nearly forever now, just one sign, one clue that my sisters were out there. I've been told to give up, but I couldn't. Could you really give up on your family so simply?

But then I hear something, something I have been wishing for. A response.

"Oniisan.. help us!"

My heart wrenches as I desperately follow the voice. They're alive! They're alive! I run and I run through the black and I see them. All 12 of them, back turned to me. It was weird, you'd think they would be happy to see me. They weren't. They're all looking into the black nothingness.

'I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry."

"Sorry doesn't bring us back, Rantaro."

I know it doesn't. You can't smash a plate, say sorry to it and expect it to suddenly piece back together. Like trust. Trust, such a beautiful but fragile thing.

They all turn to face me. They don't look like the people I knew before. Their eyes said it all. There was no more shine in them, no more hope, no more...

"We hate you Rantaro. You lost us. Can't you see that we were better without seeing you?! Ever again?!"

Hearing my own sisters say that pierced me like a sharp knife. I didn't realise.. I.. I just wanted them back. The voice was loud and forceful, and it kept on shouting and shouting, screaming and yelling.

'Horrible Brother!'

'Shame on you!'

'We hate you!'

Imsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorry.

No P.O.V

Rantaro woke up abruptly, he didn't even realise his own cold tears streaming like a river down his face. Another nightmare. Rantaro looked out his window, only to discover that the sky was feeling the same as he was. The rain of his tears and the bellowing thunder of his heart, which still had not recovered from his nightmare. 

It was too loud for a place so quiet. He gently removed his hand from the other's and covered himself with the blanket, covered his ears with his hands and closed his eyes. It was too much. Oh, how much he wanted to hide, simply stop and disappear. It was so hot and so cold, the earth felt like an earthquake beneath him, his head was spinning and spinning, as if it couldn't stop. 

His covers no longer gave him the warmth they had once supplied. Rantaro sat, awake in a somewhat dazed and anxious state. He had these types of nightmares every night so why.. why couldn't he get used to them? Every feeling he was feeling now, he had already felt. Despair, loss, pain and hurt... It weren't his best moments. He quietly tried to calm himself, taking into consideration the Korekiyo still sleeping next to him. Well, Rantaro thought he was sleeping. 

"Rantaro? What are you doing awake? Are you okay?"

⇢⇢⇢❆❆❆⇠⇠⇠

It was 2:26 am and Rantaro was, once again, being comforted by Korekiyo. They both sat on Rantaro's bed, Korekiyo's hand on Rantaro's back, trying to soothe him. Rantaro was truly grateful for Korekiyo, for every night and every day he had helped him. And he was falling. Falling for his best friend. For those golden eyes, that charming smile, his long hair that would get in his face all the time. And being in love with Korekiyo? It was amazing. 

Korekiyo knew that love, whatever that feeling was, could not just magically fix everything. He knew love was a strong emotion, sure, but you could not just love somebody's trauma away and expect everything, every bad memory to be replaced by memories of thyself. He was worried that Rantaro was blinded by sugar-coated words and lies that he so desperately wanted to be truths. He hoped that Rantaro could see that love, being in love, being loved, or loving would not simply solve all his problems. 

Another lie everyone had told him. Prince Charming will not fix a broken heart like the fairy tails said he would. 

⇢⇢⇢❆❆❆⇠⇠⇠

The second day of school and Rantaro came in with tired eyes and constant yawning. Rantaro hadn't gone back to sleep in the morning, he didn't want to go back to his nightmare, back to being blamed, back to feeling a heavy burden upon his aching heart. Those nights were the worst, it brought out such memories he would never want to remember, yet never could forget. 

Rantaro had free period. He had nobody to talk to, since Kiyo, the only person he would consider his friend, valued his studies. Rantaro hated free period. The only conversation people'd make with him was to ask if he was okay. Strange, considering that he was and there really wasn't a serious reason to question that he was not okay.

Rantaro was sketching out a map of an unnamed place he has visited a year ago when a certain blonde decided to 'start conversation'. Kaede Akamatsu, popular amongst girls and boys. She was very kind and Rantaro certainly did not mind her presence, but he did find her to be very insistent on making sure everything with everyone was okay. 

"Rantaro-kun! How are ya? Doing okay?"

Rantaro forced a small smile. "I'm fine, Kaede, there's really no reason for you to ask so much-"

"But! You were-" She imitated Rantaro's yawning, "-All throughout last class! You must get some sleep! It simply isn't-"

Mute. Rantaro stopped listening. He didn't want to feel like somebody was angry at him so he blocked it out. He tried to focus on the various conversations around him, instead of his own. Ouma and Iruma were screaming at each other, Momota and Harukawa were talking about how they should go stargazing together and Gokuhara was showing Hoshi his bugs. 

He wanted rest. He wanted to be better than he is now. But.. at this moment, he was too tired to do any of that. 

⇢⇢⇢❆❆❆⇠⇠⇠

October 3rd, Hope's Peak's annual class excursion day. Class president Shuichi Saihara (against his own wishes) had been persuaded to pick the location of their excursion, the beach of all ungodly things. This was mainly Kaede's and Kokichi's culpability. Rantaro personally did not mind, but Korekiyo did. And so, much against Korekiyo's wishes, Rantaro was worrying. But what was so wrong about wanting your friend to have fun?! 

It was hot. Hotter than Rantaro expected. Fuck. And yes, he was talking about the temperature, not the fact that the image of Korekiyo shirtless rivalled the looks of Aphrodite herself. Agh! He should shove away such intrusive thoughts, it would be bad if such thoughts suddenly turned into a norm. 

"Amami, is everything okay? You are staring off into the sky again..." 

The green haired boy nodded, continuing to 'stare off into the sky'. The sky was under appreciated in all its beauty. How it'd change colour, how it'd cry, how it'd provide a warm-like environment. It was truly beautiful. Rantaro went on hikes occasionally and it'd remind him how beautiful nature was. Speaking of which...

"Hey Kiyo..?"

"Yes, Amami?"

"There's a little forest near here can w-"

"You can't stray far from the group. You know that."

Korekiyo immediately knew what Rantaro wanted to request. Their walks on the way home would be frequently interrupted if Rantaro found somewhere he hadn't explored yet. Yes, Korekiyo loved the excitement and enthusiasm Rantaro had but it may be dangerous and they were shirtless, in swimming trunks nonetheless. 

Rantaro wouldn't take no for an answer. He struck his 'cute puppy dog eyes' and kept on repeating 'Please please please please!!'. After a few solid minutes of pleading, Korekiyo finally gave in. 

"...Fine. But stop that. You look abnormal."

⇢⇢⇢❆❆❆⇠⇠⇠

It was 10 am and the two boys were walking along the path of the 'forest' Rantaro had found. While Korekiyo was throwing words of regret, Rantaro smiled and ignored them. They walked for what seemed like half an hour (10 minutes) when Korekiyo heard something.

"Whom holds a water source amongst the luscious leaves of this place?"

The sound grew closer, it wasn't threatening, but it brought out the pair's curiosity. The quiet splash and the quiet rumbling of the water as it pours down, was a small waterfall. A beautiful one at that. Rantaro loved waterfalls, they just gave a peaceful vibe and that was what he needed. Peace. 

"So, Kiyo, do you wanna go for a splash?"

⇢⇢⇢❆❆❆⇠⇠⇠

They didn't know whether it had been 20 minutes or 2 hours. In the end, did it really matter? Time was an empty concept and the limits that it had stopped Rantaro from spending time with Korekiyo. Many smiles, laughs, splashes they had once again wrapped themselves in their own bubble nobody could pop. Rantaro felt a familiar feeling. One he'd always feel when he was with Korekiyo. Something he couldn't name but it sounded wonderful when described. 

What Rantaro felt around Korekiyo was a strong sense of belonging. An indestructible home. He felt loved and appreciated, he found that... everything he lacked from everybody else, he found more from Kiyo. A lovely sense where you felt safe, comfortable and maybe even carefree. Korekiyo.. he made Rantaro feel all these feelings. As if nothing could go wrong. But there's always conflict. Or else one's story isn't worth telling. 

Oh how we humans long for a story solved by soft kisses acting as duct tape and glue for the heart. A story where the fire was permanently put out, a flame that could only flicker, rendering no harm. 

⇢⇢⇢❆❆❆⇠⇠⇠

It was funny. Rantaro never liked cars, but apparently long cars (buses) were nothing to dislike. Korekiyo and Rantaro sat next to each other on the bus, as per usual. Rantaro lied his head on Korekiyo's shoulder, too tired and too unbothered to focus on anything in particular. Anything blurted out of his mouth at these times, it got quite troublesome and emotional. 

Korekiyo was unfocused. Usually, he'd be staring at something, thinking of nothing at all. But he sees Rantaro and he keeps on thinking and thinking and thinking. And he can't stop. His wonderful jade coloured hair that was in a beautiful yet questionable style, his enthusiasm and passion for adventuring, his bravery, his strength. He had endured so much, it was almost admirable. For all the scars and pain hidden underneath so many walls he had put up, it was beautiful. Rantaro's humanity. It's purpose and core. Pain, hardship, love, heartache, weakness, bravery, foolishness. All that was humanity. 

Korekiyo strongly believed that he saw humans, just not true humanity. Humans, these particular humans, were just empty shells of everything they could be, the potential pain and strength they will gain, the potential of what they will loose. Empty humanity. So gone. 

⇢⇢⇢❆❆❆⇠⇠⇠

"Hey Kiyo?"

"Yes, Amami?"

He felt so dumb. So stupid for asking it. So weak, so vulnerable, so insecure. But he needed the answer. 

"You won't leave me, right?"

Korekiyo stared at Rantaro, unable to tell if the man was kidding or not. But those chartreuse eyes held no clue nor information about the origins of this question. 

"Why, of course not. Why do you ask?"

Rantaro himself did not know the answer. Perhaps he needed some sort of validation? Closure? A question whose answer he know he'll receive? 

"Promise me! Promise me our friendship- no, our love will not fall apart! Okay?!" 

Rantaro stuck up his pinky finger like a kindergartener who promised to hide a secret. It was childish, he knew, but it was also a thing his sister and him did when making promises. It was a memory. And he was willing to embarrass himself if it'd allow him to remember them more. Korekiyo had done the same, intertwining their pinkies in a 'Pinky Promise'.

"I shall take care of your heart. I will not leave as long as you still need me, however long that may take."

He got his answer and his heart felt lighter, like a smaller burden lifted off one's chest. Rantaro smiled. A genuine, carefree, happy smile. 

⇢⇢⇢❆❆❆⇠⇠⇠

One who walks with you at the start will not be there until the end. That is to grow. You look back and see their footsteps still in the sand, for they have not quite faded yet. And for you have not forgotten them. Not just yet. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback is appreciated again! Please tell me if I've made any mistakes!


	3. Paranoia

No P.O.V

He was gone, he was gone, he was gone. It wasn't like Rantaro wasn't expecting this, he just didn't know it'd be this soon. Oh how he desperately wanted to curse and curse everything, but there wasn't a reason to be angry. His sisters inevitably left him when they were pronounced dead, he didn't really have any friends and even his dad would rather drown himself in his job than to look after him. It was great. Korekiyo's forgotten promise just washed down into the fucking drain.

Minutes turned into hours, hours turned into days, days turned into weeks and weeks felt like small eternities. He hadn't seen him in so long. It broke him in such a careless way that he didn't know what to do. He didn't know what to do. Rantaro tried calling, texting, hell, he even filed a missing persons report!

Idea.

『✿✿✿』

"Father?"

Today was the one day Rantaro's father would be at home. Rantaro did not find himself spending time with his father, it was rare for any of the two to initiate a conversation.

"Yes... Rantaro?"

His father hesitated, as if he had forgotten his own son's name. Well, it wouldn't be much of a shock. Rantaro never expected much from his workaholic of a father.

"Do you have Korekiyo's parents contact numbers?"

Rantaro's father made a confused face. What- no, who was Rantaro talking about? Korekiyo? When had he heard of such a person? Had he failed to give Rantaro the proper attention he needed?

"Rantaro... who is Koreki-"

There was screaming. An outburst of the anger and insecurities that he had been hiding for the longest time. Screaming and crying from a child who was beyond help, one who he didn't know how to help. But Rantaro was his son. So he had to try to understand.

"Dad! You don't even know who my best friend is! You don't remember a thing! You know what? I wouldn't expect much anyways from a father who can barely even remember his own son's name! Your horrible, you know that? Horrible, horrible, horrible! Why can't you be there for me, even just sometimes? But no, you're out here frolicking with your job that keeps taking you away from me!"

Rantaro was vulnerable, betrayed, numb and anything that fit between. He needed to take it out on something, it wasn't his dad's fault! It never was! But would it have killed him to make some time with his own son?! Rantaro was repetitively hitting his fathers chest, tears rolling down his face, showing no signs of stopping. His father somewhat understood. He let Rantaro hit him, only to embrace Rantaro in a warm hug.

Rantaro hugged back, a pain still ringing in his heart. He sniffled;

"E-everything... is being taken from me.. w-why me? What did I do?"

『✿✿✿』

The next day Rantaro came to school. Still no Korekiyo. He kept on wondering and wondering if a goodbye would've made his leave better or worse. However, he did not think Korekiyo would be coming back anytime soon. He couldn't help but laugh. So it was a lie, right? Was it all a lie? Did everything they had mean anything to the other? It was so funny. He should never had believed anyone.

And so Rantaro put up so many more walls. Anything, just to hide himself from.. whatever. Getting hurt, danger, pain. All of the things he had enough of. But one last thing, one last try. He'd ask the teachers for Korekiyo. Just.. a bit of information. Something, anything. Just.. please.

『✿✿✿』

Rantaro plodded to the teacher's office. He stood in front of the school secretary, patiently waiting for her to put down the phone. Just a quick inquiry. An primary one.

"Hello, how may I assist you?"

"Um.. I have a question about a student. Korekiyo Shinguuji?"

The secretary let her fingers wander the keyboard, inputting the name, only to frown. She tried again. Rantaro could see from the reflection of her glasses. He wasn't crazy, right? He.. he isn't crazy. Korekiyo exists at this school right? He goes here, he sits with Rantaro at lunch, walks to class with him. So why.. why did the database say otherwise..?

Search results for "Korekiyo Shinguuji":

0.

『✿✿✿』

Rantaro wasn't fucking insane. He wasn't crazy. Korekiyo is real. Korekiyo is real, real, real. He is. He must be... If he wasn't, who was it that comforted him all those nights? All those times of adventure, happiness, sadness..? Who, who, who? Rantaro Amami was not crazy.

He was sure of it.

After the secretary inquiry, he had ran out of the office, scared, anxious, panicked. He ran out of the school, ignoring all the weird stares aiming him. He couldn't do anything but sob. He cried and wailed. He wandered around aimlessly. A person without a goal, nor destination. One who just wanted to get lost.

『✿✿✿』

Rantaro sat alone in a dark alley, sobbing and feeling sorry for himself. He's a fool. A fool, a fool, a fool. He had curled up in a ball, face hidden in his knees. Everything was empty. His tears, Korekiyo's words, his heart, his voice. He couldn't scream anymore. He was tired, so, so helplessly tired. Exhausted, drained. Whatever you would call it. And with perfect time, he heard it. The voice he was be longing for.

"Hello, Amami."

It was Korekiyo, looking more... transparent than usual. So he was right. Everything... was fake.

"You're a lie. You lied to me."

Rantaro looked up to see an dull face. Those eyes no longer held the same comfort they used to make them feel. Those were the eyes of a liar. A cheat. A fake existence. Korekiyo remained quite the mysterious individual. You could never tell behind his mask.

"I did. I'm sorry."

No, he's not.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I'm sorry this isn't the best chapter, I just really want to move on because this part was really boring for me..
> 
> But thank you everybody for reading this far! I'm happy that some are enjoying this..! 
> 
> By the way, this book is nearly done and I will be releasing another amaguji fanfic after this one! The next one is a Royalty AU.


	4. I asked him to stay

Rantaro P.O.V

Korekiyo was a hallucination. Nothing but that. I'm so stupid. Stupid for believing there was actually anybody who'd be there for me, someone that would actually accompany me without ill will. I know now. I'm crazy. I hallucinate. But.. what happened to me..? What was happening all these years then..? I didn't want to believe it. Korekiyo.. he's real, he has to be. Or... I just have to deal with it. Deal with the fact that I'm mad, not in the right place, deal with the fact that Korekiyo was never real. 

So I just had to.. deal with the fact that he is gone? 

Please come back. 

《ⓖⓞⓞⓓ》

It was a kind of love that made me so weak. A kind of love that could make me feel as if I was on top of the world, my problems only becoming minute and irrelevant. But it wasn't love if he didn't exist. Korekiyo was a figment of my imagination, somebody I wanted but could never truly have. Never in my wildest dreams. There is screaming in my heart. A heavy pain. Shouting. Cursing. Screaming. I want it to stop. I want it all to stop, to end. Please, please, just make everything end. I felt as if my life had little to no meaning. The person I was living for, just gone. So was there a point? Was there a point to it all?

My father had explained it all. I understood, but I did not want to believe. 

"You hallucinate. You have visual and auditory hallucinations. You can see and hear things that were never there. Perhaps that's where you developed this.. persona. One that would look after you in a way nobody ever did. It was what you wanted to see and hear. I suppose it acted as a coping mechanism for you. After your siblings were pronounced dead.. you wouldn't stop looking. They found evidence of their death, and you were devastated. Destroyed, even. 

Rantaro, you are valid. And I know I was not always there for you but I am. If you need me, you can talk to me. You aren't crazy, it's not your fault. It was never your fault."

《ⓑⓨⓔ》

I could not think logically. My thoughts were clouded. All I wanted was to remember. Even if he was never real, I want to remember. The way I felt like I was being comforted, kind words, his understanding of my situation. My classmates must think I'm crazed.. sitting alone and talking to myself. Wandering off, laughing to nobody in particular. How many times did I say his name? How many times did I mention him? Is.. that why Kaede would always ask if I were okay? Did everybody know except me? No.. I knew. I'm sure it's just because.. I never wanted to acknowledge it. 

I want to remember, please. Just a small something I can take on with me, trying to move on. Even if nothing was real, I want to remember him. When people say 'It's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all' is a bunch of bullshit. When you love and lose, what do you do when you lose them? Just have that heavy emptiness of it all stuck on your chest? Everything that could've happened? I think.. It would've been better if I had never experienced love at all. But here I am, stuck. Trying to remember a hallucination. Maybe the jelly beans are working. His laugh.. his eyes..

What were his eyes like again..?

《Ⓡⓐⓝⓣⓐⓡⓞ》

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uncivilised Author's Note:
> 
> OKAY I HATE THIS CHAPTER SO F-ING MUCH I DO APOLOGISE BECAUSE THIS IS HELLA SHORT THE NEXT CHAPTER WILL BE 1000-2000 WORDS I PROMISE I'LL TRY NOT TO LET YOU GUYS DOWN. And I swear I'm trying, not to whip out excuses or anything, but school's being a bitch ;-;


	5. He didn’t.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everybody, I'm sorry, it has been a while! This will be the last chapter of this fanfic. I can't hold my promise I made last chapter so I'm really sorry :< I'm just really unmotivated, if you have any questions about the fic, or things you didn't understand, please feel free to ask questions, I'll try to provide an answer! Friendly Feedback on writing is always welcome! 💜

No P.O.V

Rantaro lay on top of his bed, staring at the ceiling, feeling.. conflicted. When he learnt his truth, it felt like he was choking. It was an unknown pain. It was horrible. He felt horrible. He wanted nothing but to exist in the void, to be nothing but an empty shell. He'd never been in love, he had never experienced such a feeling. He was nothing but lonely. So, so lonely. So starved for the feeling of affection. He'd been living a dream. No, he'd been living with a nightmare, dressed like a dream. Korekiyo had been everything Rantaro could've asked for. A friend. Perhaps a lover. And he was gone. It was a love, a friendship so strong, it made Rantaro feel so weak. It was stripped away from him and he felt like he didn't want to go on. 

Rantaro remembered his cold hands. Those goddamn cold, comforting hands that held his own during his nights of terror. God, Rantaro felt pathetic. He was so lonely. Forever yearning for something that would not come. He didn't want to sleep. Sleeping led to dreaming, and he was afraid that he'd see Korekiyo again, and prove that he was nothing but a figment of an affection-starved imagination. Then again, Korekiyo was lonely too. If he was here, he'd propose to be lonely together, with Rantaro. And Rantaro would love nothing more than that. 

『❦』

Rantaro needed to feel something. Whether it be the strong impact of the ground beneath him, or the refreshing, icy breeze. Most people would prefer him to do the latter. Rantaro sat on the rooftop, it was an enticing scene, like something out of a romance movie. It was midnight, so the stars only shone brighter. One suffering from heartache will look not forward, but up; to where we once came from. The stars. It hurt, trying to remember a dream. As much as Rantaro pushed himself to, he couldn't remember anything but 'his' name. 

The cool, bitter zephyr blanketed Rantaro as he heard silent whispers and remembered memories of long gone. Trying his best to hold on, he tried to remember all the things he thought they did, and all the things he still wanted to do. Rantaro lifted his arm, as if reaching for something, perhaps an answer. Feeling helpless, he looked up at the sky. The night was one of a silent, hurting, peace. The wind whispers, and so he whispered back a question. 

‘Is happiness still in reach?’

『❦』

Rantaro lay in his bed, restless, as dawn eagerly lay wait. Outside, dandelions bloomed. Dandelions are beautiful; even if they are weeds, plants that are to be frowned and looked down upon. Maybe they were there to remind Rantaro that even beautiful things can be a lie. Rantaro hadn't slept. He felt tired but completely awake. When Rantaro thought he already cried his heart out, he still felt like crying oceans upon oceans. 

Perhaps Rantaro's dear illusion, Korekiyo, made a tear in his heart. One that he actually made himself. Maybe Rantaro finally understood himself, why he had to imagine Korekiyo. He had felt so lonely. So affection starved, craving even a friend. Or maybe to distract himself from the mistake he made. Rantaro would like to think that he didn't need Korekiyo anymore, even if his heart was screaming in contradiction. But at the same time, Rantaro wanted Korekiyo to rest easy, knowing that he was going to make it through whatever that was happening. A man doesn't die when he is dead, he dies when he is forgotten. And Korekiyo would never die. He would hold immortal in Rantaro's dear, fragile heart. 

『❦』

Korekiyo, an illusion, a distraction, a dream had made the last few years the happiest; only if Rantaro could regain such happiness without him. If Rantaro was to go back in time, he would never had let go. If he could, you would hold onto his cold, slender hands and never plan on letting go. But that mentality? It was useless in a world where tomorrow was never set in stone. Rantaro wanted to let go. He repeated 'thank you's' to a dream. And he may have felt pathetic, but that's okay. 

『❦』

Rantaro would like to admit that Korekiyo was like a remedy to his broken down heart. Even if his disappearance made him felt worse, that's what love is. Even so, Korekiyo showed Rantaro truth. Reality. 

Reality that included Korekiyo gone. Not waking up to Korekiyo sleeping next to him, a smile that was so beautifully imagined it felt real, and without a boy. A normal ordinary boy. Korekiyo. Who never had the same outfit. Who was interested in things of old. Who didn't know how to work a phone. Reality didn't have any of that. But that's okay. Because nothing is really how you can expect it to be.

『❦』

Even if Rantaro was hurting, he knew that he'd get back up again. All he needed was time. His mind was no longer a muddled mess, so he could think better. He tried to remain as if nothing happened. But that was a failed attempt. Something did happen. People can't just walk away from things that hurt them. Rantaro needed to accept that it happened. And it hurt. Like every other time. Rantaro accepted Korekiyo. Rantaro accepted his mistake with his sisters. As much as it did hurt, he wouldn't be able to live if he just denied their existence.

『❦』

So, everything he did reminded him of them. Simple tasks would remind him of people of the past. People he couldn’t ignore. People whomst he loved. His sisters, his hallucination(s), his Korekiyo. Everything was so different. It was light, it felt as if he once again knew what life meant. Adventure, love, friendship, loyalty. All of those things and more. He felt as if he could properly say goodbye. One that had been long overdue.

‘Goodbye, . We’ll meet again. At that time, I promise to take care of you. Care for you, love you and never let go until your ready. I won’t let you feel the pain I went through. Or the pain you went through.’

‘I loved you. You were exactly how I wished and envisioned and I hate it. But I’ll love the stars in your place. For the stars are ever so far from my reach.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Feel free to image any of the names, since they played a minor-ish part I was too bothered :(
> 
> Hello~ it’s me~ thank you for reading all the way through. When I first had this idea, it was really nice but I just started to lose motivation for everything ^^;;. So I do apologise if this does seem so very half-assed. But to all the readers, thank you for supporting this fic all this time! But, all things come to an end. That is all for this story, again, if you have any questions are feedback, please feel free to comment!

**Author's Note:**

> Feedback is always appreciated! Don't be too mean though-


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